“I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where is my help to come?”

Today’s gospel gives us the ideal opportunity to try and address the problem of “when prayer is difficult”.  Everyone experiences times when prayer is not easy; times when prayer seems like an up hill struggle; times when prayer is left to one side because we just don’t know what to say to God or how to effectively communicate with him.  Whenever I lead a course about prayer I always say that I don’t always find prayer an easy thing – I too have times when prayer is difficult, when I feel that my prayers are not heard, times when I just don’t know what to say to God or how to say what I would really want too.  The reason I always mention this is because some people think that because I’m a priest I can and always do find prayer easy – so I say that it isn’t because this myth needs to be dismantled.  Everyone, from the holiest of monks and Nuns to the newest of Christians can find prayer a difficult task at times – so you are not on your own.

The reasons for prayer being difficult are many, and for each of us they will be different and personal; so trying to address this issue is not an easy task for us this morning.  What I can do is mention some of the reasons for prayer being difficult, and suggest some ideas for you to try, but I mention them with the following disclaimer: What I say today may not fit the reasons why you might find prayer difficult (if you do find it difficult at the moment) and the suggested exercises may be of little or no use to you.  Each of us is different, so what I say in general terms may not be as helpful as you’d hoped, although of course I hope that it is helpful. 

Jesus encourages the disciples to “pray always and not lose heart.”  He then goes on to tell a parable of a woman who kept asking and asking until the judge granted her justice.

It is sometimes easy to lose heart when we are praying for something that doesn’t seem to happen.  We start off by being fervent in our prayers about some particular thing, but as the days and weeks go by and nothing seems to happen we begin to wonder why we keep asking God for whatever it is we are asking.  Soon we give up completely, and feel our prayers are either worthless or unworthy.  Part of the problem here is that we live in an instant society.  Microwaves, instant coffee, supermarkets, the idea of buy now pay later, rather than save up and then buy, all give the illusion that if we want something we can have it now, and we believe that that should go for our prayers too.  Well, we might live in an instant and quick society, but sometimes waiting is best, sometimes we have to work hard in order to attain something.  Sometimes we need to pray and keep praying about something for a long time before we begin to see that prayer answered.  Sometimes this is because the prayer is answered through change in us, as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.

But sometimes prayer is difficult because we are going through a particularly difficult time.  When the world seems to be battering us, when we are feeling particularly low, when we face great trials in our life, prayer can seem to be impossible for us.  And when we think about it, when we are going through such tough times it is hardly surprising.  It is at these times in life that often the only prayer we can make is “O God!”  In desperation that is all we can say – and at these times this short prayer is not wasted.

Prayer is also difficult for other reasons too, like: when God feels like he is a long way off; and when we are not focused on God (for whatever reason – and there are many); and when we are praying in a way that is not right for us. 

There is one other reason why we might find prayer difficult, and I’ve saved it till last because I guess many people might fall into this category.  Prayer can be difficult because the church has failed to teach and guide people in how to pray.  For everything else in life we get instruction.  At work if there is a new policy, a new way of working, or a new piece of IT we are given training – and rightly so; otherwise we wouldn’t know how to do things.  Yet in the church we often fail to give people access to training and support in prayer, hoping rather that people will pick it up as they go along through what they experience in church.  Whilst learning through experience on a Sunday morning is a valid way of learning how to pray it should not be left as the only way.  We as a church need to take some responsibility here.  Next week’s sermon will start to address this issue, and I hope that a course on prayer will soon be run.

So there are just some of the reasons for why people might find prayer difficult; but there are I’m sure many other reasons I haven’t mentioned.  But what can we do when prayer is difficult?  Well, here are some practical things I hope will be of use.

The first thing we should do when we find prayer difficult is to talk to someone about it.  Often we need others to help us discover why we are finding it difficult to pray, especially if we usually have a healthy prayer life.  It doesn’t really matter who we talk to in a sense, as long as they are someone we trust who has some wisdom.  I would hope that you would feel able to come and talk to me too, as it is my call to minister with you and walk with you on your journey of faith.  Sometimes people say, “I don’t want to bother the vicar – he’s a busy man.”  If ever I get too busy to care for the needs of the people in this parish then I am failing in my duty.  I aim to always have time to talk to anyone about spiritual matters, or about anything else, so please don’t let that be an excuse for not contacting me – if I don’t know, I can’t do anything to help.  Of course you may also have a Spiritual Director or Soul Friend who can help.  The important thing is to talk to someone about it – we all need the help and advice of others, especially when prayer is difficult for us.

Another thing that can be helpful is to use set prayers rather than your own words.  When we don’t know what to say, or how to say it, or when prayer just seems like a real chore, the prayers others have written can keep us in the routine of prayer and begin to give voice to what we cannot say in our own words.  (There are many books of prayers in book shops, here in church and at the vicarage for you to buy and borrow.)  There is nothing wrong with praying in this way, I have often found it to be very helpful; and indeed, the daily office (morning and evening prayer) is set prayers, written by others.

Along similar lines to this is something else you might find helpful – that is saying a psalm.  The psalms often put into words very deep thoughts and feelings, and this can help us reconnect out own thoughts and feelings to God.

Another thing that we can do is allow ourselves to be upheld by other people’s prayers.  When we are going through a particularly tough time there is nothing wrong with letting go and letting others sustains us in their prayers.  God knows when we are in these times – and there is nothing wrong with this.  Of course this isn’t an easy opt out clause, because for this to work we all need to be praying for each other when we can.  But when we can’t it is good to know we can take rest in other people’s prayers.

My final piece of advice for this morning, for when we find prayer difficult, is taken from Psalm 46, v 10.  “Be still and know that I am God” the psalmist reminds us.  Sometimes that is all we can do: be still, and in that stillness allow God to do what we need him to do – often it is all we should do.  Prayer isn’t just about what we say to God; there has to be space for us to just be still in God’s presence and allow him to find us.  It doesn’t matter if we can only do this for a short time; if we find time to just be still in God’s presence the length of time we are still in his presence can increase gradually.

Well, that has been a brief look at a large subject, but if anything from this morning’s sermon has stirred something in you that you would like to talk over then please see me after the service; I am always happy to help people in their prayers if I can, so please don’t hesitate to contact me at any time on this or other matters.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where is my help to come?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.”

Creation date : 24/11/2007 - 22:40
Last update : 24/11/2007 - 22:40
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